This was such a healing podcast to listen to. I've lost friendships in middle school that still haunt me in my dreams! Your reframing made me consider whether those friends I've lost truly liked me at all and whether they would've been in alignment with the me I am now.
Also, I've been the bad friend before - the ghoster. I think in a period of depression or poor mental health it can be really easy to just opt out of friendships - which take energy to sustain so in a way I can understand the friend that said "I'm not in the capacity to be a good friend". I think that sort of honesty also hints at the fact that rarely do these things have to do with us (although sometimes, we are the asshole and are oblivious to it) but often have more to do with the other individual. It can be really hard to NOT internalize how other people react to us. I'm still working on this habit myself.
This was such a healing podcast to listen to. I've lost friendships in middle school that still haunt me in my dreams! Your reframing made me consider whether those friends I've lost truly liked me at all and whether they would've been in alignment with the me I am now.
Also, I've been the bad friend before - the ghoster. I think in a period of depression or poor mental health it can be really easy to just opt out of friendships - which take energy to sustain so in a way I can understand the friend that said "I'm not in the capacity to be a good friend". I think that sort of honesty also hints at the fact that rarely do these things have to do with us (although sometimes, we are the asshole and are oblivious to it) but often have more to do with the other individual. It can be really hard to NOT internalize how other people react to us. I'm still working on this habit myself.